


(the) refuge

by spiritshipping



Category: Cardfight!! Vanguard
Genre: Almost Kiss, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Canon, hand kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritshipping/pseuds/spiritshipping
Summary: Ren is looking at him with that expression he reserves for himself and Tetsu -- full of concern and full of love -- but when he looks at Kai, those feelings are even more amplified. Guilt settles like a rock in his stomach.it's okay to just be together.





	(the) refuge

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to theo ( datastorm on ao3 ) for helping me with ideas and proofreading!!! i'd d*e for him
> 
> this takes place pre-canon, when kai and ren are going to school together (baby mode) ...

"Kai." A voice calls out, a gentle yet persistent push against the haze of Kai's thoughts. He brings his eyes up to meet the owner of the voice's eyes -- striking red looks back at him, eyebrows narrowed and expression laced with concern. Still, he manages a carefree, almost melodic tone when he speaks to Kai. "Kai, you're not listening to me."

 

He can't refute that, so he doesn't. He would be tested if he did, and while it wouldn't be too hard to guess what he was talking about, Kai didn't feel right lying to his boyfriend. "...Sorry. I'm a bit tired."

 

The redhead looks apprehensive for a moment before he starts to pout. He can tell Kai doesn't want to talk about it, though, so he shifts his attention to something else. Kai's hand. "I know what will get you to pay attention to me." In only a few moments, that pout turns to a sly grin and Kai knows what's coming next. 

 

"Ren--" Kai tries to stop the oncoming embarrassment, but it's too late. His boyfriend has made up his mind. 

 

"See, it's already working!" Ren gives a sly grin before taking Kai's hand, drawing it closer to his lips. Kai's face is heating up before anything has even happened. Kai can’t meet his eyes anymore; not from disdain, but shyness. He loves his boyfriend's kisses, loves the affection that Ren pours into him, but he's always too embarrassed when he feels Ren's lips brush against his hand -- but that feeling doesn't come. 

 

"Kai…" He whispers, voice devoid of the playful tone it had moments prior. "...Are you okay?"

 

He's about to reply of course he is, because he _is_ fine, just flustered, until he follows Ren's gaze. Ren isn't looking him in the eyes, but at the bluing mark around his wrist. Kai withdraws his hand and Ren is too startled to grab it again.

 

"I'm fine." It's his automatic response, one he's given teachers when asked the same thing. It seems innocent, but he knows what they're really asking, so he can't respond in truth. He wishes he could tell Ren the truth, but he doesn't want Ren to shoulder that burden. It would be cruel to make Ren worry when neither of them have the power to change anything. This is the only thing that Kai can -- _has to_ \-- lie to Ren about, because he doesn’t have another choice. 

 

Neither of them move for a moment and Kai is all too aware of how uncomfortable it is to sit on a desk for so long, but he doesn't move because that's just a fleeting thought and he doesn't want this moment to end because of his own-- 

 

"--You know you can tell me anything, right?"

 

"Yeah." Kai whispers. He can't manage more than that or his voice will betray him. Ren is looking at him with that expression he reserves for himself and Tetsu -- full of concern and full of love -- but when he looks at Kai, those feelings are even more amplified. Guilt settles like a rock in his stomach. 

 

Ren doesn't seem satisfied with that, frowning in a way that's way too serious and forlorn to fit him. The silence grows again, and while Kai is normally fine with silence, this time it eats away at him by the second. Ren just keeps looking at him with such concern and Kai can't handle it, so he shifts his gaze to the ground. His legs dangle only a few inches from touching the floor and Ren's are planted there, standing slightly on his toes to lean closer to Kai. 

 

"What can I do to help you, Kai?" Their faces are close enough to kiss; close enough for Ren to see the pain in Kai's eyes. No matter how hard Kai tries, he can't hide anything from Ren. And Ren is never upset with him, never afraid of him, just looks at him with an expression that says _I accept you_ , asking not _if_ he can help, but what he _can_ do to help. Leaving Kai alone has never been an option. 

 

Face-to-face with someone as enigmatic, as magnetic, as warm as Ren, Kai can't push him away. Maybe it's because of Ren's kindness, or maybe it's because Kai has been waiting to be saved all this time. And even if Ren can't save him, he can provide him with a safe haven, which is more than Kai has ever even thought of wanting since his parents died. 

 

"Stay...just a little longer."

 

_ Maybe it's okay to be selfish sometimes.  _

 

"Couldn't you have asked for something a little more challenging?" Ren smiles, taking Kai's bruised hand in his. He kisses the darkest coloration on the center of his wrist, and Kai doesn't feel any pain. "You know I'd stay with you forever if I could."

 

_ Maybe it's okay to receive the love that's offered, to believe he's worth receiving it, at least for a little while. _

 

"I'd like that."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> at this point, ren wants to do what he can for kai. he knows kai won't tell him the full story but he's able to piece it together on his own. kai is so grateful to have ren by his side and wants to be a good boyfriend like ren. ren and kai understand each other and care about each other so much ... i think their relationship was very loving (at least until ren freaked it). i want them to be happy


End file.
